Life & Love

How to Handle Jealousy in Relationship

Irina Jusuf
Written by Irina Jusuf

Jealousy is an emotion that everyone experiences. Sometimes, jealousy may make us feel uncomfortable, especially when it is very excessive. Jealousy is able to cause sadness, disappointment, anger, and numerous other negative emotions. However, we have to point out that underneath all the jealousy, we have to take into account that jealousy is a result of compassion and love. It arises as a result of being ‘fearful of losing a loved one’. This is why it is not uncommon that people, especially those who are in a relationship, feel jealous. However, sometimes these people do not explain why they are jealous; which leads to a further argument.

There are varying degrees of jealousy. Therefore, if the jealousy is still at a light stage, it is okay. However, when it becomes too excessive, you better start figuring out why. Below are some of the ways you can address excessive jealousy.

1. Discovering the reasons for jealousy

Find out what stimulates the feelings of jealousy. Usually jealousy occurs because of suspicion, preferential treatments, and also because of differences in perspectives. Therefore, find the reason why jealousy arises. Then, communicate your point of view and allow the other person to explain their point of view as well. This way, the miscommunication and differences in perspectives may be cleared.

2. Jealous of the past

If jealousy is related to the past, you should be aware that you are living in the present. The past is over. Your lover’s love life in the past is simply a state that he/she lived to obtain his/her life goals. Whatever status that their previous partner had does not matter because your lover is now with you. Being stuck in their past could your judgment and will not allow you to witness the good that your present lover is able to bring for you. Always remind yourself that your partner no longer lives in her/his past relationship.

3. Tell your spouse about your jealousy

If you feel that you get jealous very often, you should discuss this with your partner. He/she might be able to help you reduce the frequency of your jealousy. Ask for help from your lover to avoid the things that might be causing the jealousy. If your partner loves you and understands you, certainly he/she will try to find ways to reduce your anxiety. However, you also need to do your part; try to find ways to make sure that you do not get jealous as well. To avoid a fight, you should communicate all these problems when the two of you are still in a relaxed state.

4. Positive thinking

The most important of all is to always think positively about your spouse. Being overly suspicious of your lover will just trigger unwarranted jealousy. Sometimes, it does not hurt to just believe that your partner will not betray you.

5. Your partner is your top priority

Jobs and responsibilities are important. However, the two of them sometimes become a priority that overrides your partner’s right of priority. As a result, this triggers fights that culminate doubts that destroy loyalty. No one wants to be ignored. Your partner is no exception to that. He/she deserves to become one of the most important priorities in the life of his/her partner.

6. Trust and being open to each other

Being open to each other is a sign of a healthy relationship. When the relationship is open, you are not concealing or hiding anything from your partner. Everything is laid out in the front and your partner knows why you do certain things that might not suit their liking, or the other way around. It is easier to trust each other when the two of you are open.

7. Give more attention

Usually, someone feels jealous because he/she feels neglected or their partner’s attention towards them suddenly gets reduced. As a result of this neglect, they become suspicious. Their suspicion, sometimes, may lead to unhealthy assumptions that will lead to jealousy. Therefore, try to give as much attention to your partner as possible. Not only will this will make them feel appreciated; this will also ensure your lover that your heart belongs to him/her.

8. Limit the talk of another woman or another man

Every lover wants to be their partner’s top priority or most important one. Of course no one would like to be compared to another women or men. No lover will want to be treated as just ‘another man’ or ‘another woman’. If you often talk about your close friends (that fits to your sexual orientation), it is certainly going to make you seem like you are more interested in your friends.  Thus, making them feel insecure.  In conclusion, if you think about each other first that can be the beginning and the best remedy to a jealous mate.

About the author

Irina Jusuf

Irina Jusuf